Blog

Blog

"No one quits their gym membership because they are buff! There is always more inside of us to explore, manage, and share as sources of hope and love for others."

Badge of Honor

02 July
2022

Badge of Honor

Seeking professional help from a psychologist can be a marker of health and functionality. It requires great courage to ask for help. Even though you know the psychologist has specialized training and has heard all sorts of stories, they are still an actual person that you'll be talking with, not a therapy machine. Initially at core they are a stranger listening to your intimate and...

26 June
2022

Service to Our Future Self



When we were fifteen years old (sophomore in high school) how much did we really know about who we would become at age forty. Did we have the capacity to accurately forecast twenty-five years ahead? Did we really know what our forty year old self would be like in this world? How many young kids know what is important to an adult in...

The Pursuit of Spiritual Average

13 June
2022

The Pursuit of Spiritual Average

When is enough enough? When can we allow ourselves the freedom to not embrace and cuddle the personal, familial, and societal pressures to have more and be more? What begins as acknowledged and accepted cultural expectation quickly morphs into zealous compulsion and later - empty oppression. When can we boldly live out the principle that less is more.

Many of us have heard the...

Building a Meaningful and Successful Life

30 May
2022

Building a Meaningful and Successful Life

What is the formula that we are told? Study hard in high school and go to college. Find a good series of upwardly mobile jobs and save ample money for the future. Develop a network of healthy friendships and build a loving relationship with someone you aspire to live your life with. Buy a house and become part of your local community. These are just...

How to Change

25 March
2021

How to Change

My work as a life coach and clinical psychologist is to help people make various changes in their life. Changes in any area of life. Maybe losing weight, improving a relationship, securing a new job, getting into graduate school, or experiencing an improved emotional and spiritual life.

After talking with thousands of people I’ve been an observer of who makes changes and who does...

Every Anchor Has a Hidden Anchor

13 March
2021

Every Anchor Has a Hidden Anchor

I might be the luckiest man in all of California. But things often look different from the outside. I have been asked many dozens of times by concerned friends and curious clinical psychology patients and coaching clients how I manage to listen to people’s problems all day long and not take it all home. “How do you survive,” they ask. I playfully tell these uninformed...

Broken People

01 March
2021

Broken People

There was once an innocent time in my life when I believed there were people in the world who were so psychologically and spiritually healthy they were almost perfect. Then I began a career providing many thousands of hours of therapy to many hundreds of high functioning, educated, professional people. I discovered we are all broken. Various wounds, mistakes, deficits, and distorted beliefs. Everyone. And...

The Cycle of Demotions and Promotions

27 December
2020

The Cycle of Demotions and Promotions

The Art of Boundary Management

I have hundreds of conversations with people each year. While the people and the exact details change - the overall themes are universal. In essence, it’s the same conversations over and over.

The above picture (created by my son Jack at my request) represents what I call the boundary map. I talk about boundaries so often that I needed a...

Reach For The Crazy

26 December
2020

Reach For The Crazy

We get to define crazy - no one else.

I am married to Camille - the most intellectually diverse person that I have ever met. Her passion has no limits. She was recently reading the classic Italian masterpiece The Divine Comedy completed in 1320 by Dante. I came home for lunch and for 15 minutes Camille regaled me with appreciation and insights she was...

Good Feedback versus Bad Feedback

18 December
2020

Good Feedback versus Bad Feedback

Wading through the s**t in order to get the golden nuggets!

I am a man on a journey. I have an extensive professional life as a clinical and forensic psychologist. But the next leg on the journey involves my work as an author, life coach, and blogger.

So I recently read Michael Hyatt’s excellent book, Platform: Get Noticed in a NoisyWorld. Hyatt references various well...